


A Woeful Heap: OR The Ballad of East, West, Up and Under

by Grondfic



Category: The Ballad of East and West - Rudyard Kipling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-20 10:53:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9488015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grondfic/pseuds/Grondfic
Summary: A possible interpolation/ending to Kipling'sThe Ballad of East and West.





	

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. A short verse of the original ballad appears in **Prologue/Story so far**
> 
> 2\. The author is grateful to Peter Death Bredon Wimsey and Mr Mervyn Bunter for their exact descriptions of a never-ever-shaven beard (cf. _Five Red Herrings_ )

**Prologue - The Story So Far**

When Kamal lifted the Colonel’s mare (‘twixt dawn and day he reived her)  
The Colonel’s son straight followed on, and instantly retrieved her.  
Though all the plain hid Kamal’s men, he never once did falter  
But set the dun to race the mare, with neither giving quarter.

'Twas then a verbal-spar ensued, where neither proved the worse.  
And so the Red Mare made her choice. Here’s Kipling’s very verse –

_The red mare ran to the Colonel's son, and nuzzled against his breast;_  
_'We be two strong men,' said Kamal then, 'but she loveth the younger best._  
_So she shall go with a lifter's dower, my turquoise-studded rein,_  
_My 'broidered saddle and saddle-cloth, and silver stirrups twain.'_

**The Continuation**

The Colonel’s son a carrot drew from ‘neath his sweated vest.  
‘Thus goes the jade to the higher paid,’ quoth he, ‘I skewed the test!’  
‘For this despite you’ll me requite!’ cried Kamal in dismay.  
‘The Old Wolf shall lie with the Young,’ replied he, ‘So send your men away!’

Then Kamal has whistled both twice and thrice, and made a secret sign;  
And threescore and ten of Kamal’s men went fleeting, nine by nine.  
The Colonel’s son his clothing dropped; all in the dust it lay,  
While he stood proud and naked ‘neath the burning Eye of Day.

His eyes were grey as morning mist, his hair like tasselled corn,  
His skin pale-gilded as the moon that fades before the dawn.  
His waist, his hips, his rangy limbs were sweetly in proportion,  
And Kamal, fast undressing, threw away all thought of caution.

His silky locks, his shaggy breast he o’er the boy did bend.  
His beard – ne’er shorn - full tapered was, at every distal end.  
The Colonel’s son the shock withstood, and loin to loin they strove.  
‘By God!’ quoth he, ‘Ye’re the man for me! So now your prowess prove!’

So Kamal has coaxed the Red Mare down upon her belly low,  
And he has taken the Colonel’s son athwart the saddle-bow.  
And East and West and North and South were all the same to them,  
Since two brave men lay front to back; and sacrum unto stem.

**Epilogue**

‘We’ll rest; then take the Red Mare home!’ quoth Kamal lang’rously,  
‘And you shall lie along her back; whilst I ride her – and thee!'  
The mare she browsed and never roused, nor pulled against her tether,  
For she love them both; and now it seemed they too had come together.


End file.
